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Tuesday, July 27, 2010

It's so hard to say goodbye

I can never think of a witty blog title. Is it just me? Anyways, lately I've been pretty bummed. Leaving Jack every day to go to work has only gotten harder as he gets older. I thought it would be tough at first and then get easier. Although heartbreaking, in the beginning it was surprisingly not as bad as I expected it would be, but it has gotten increasingly worse. Every morning after waving goodbye to my sweet boy, I walk to my car feeling horrible. I wish there was some way that I could work part time, but it just isn't possible right now. Other moms say that I'm doing what's best for Jack and one day he'll thank me for the sacrifices I'm making. How is another woman taking care of Jack, all day every day, what's best for him? I know I don't have a choice, and I am doing everything I can, but it breaks my heart nonetheless.

While I'm at work, I focus on the job and I never bring it home physically or mentally. When I leave at the end of the day, I don't think about it again until I walk in the door at 9am the next morning. I've always been able to do that and I owe it to Jack to continue doing it. But I do have help to get me through the long work day.


I never stop thinking about Jack and he always makes me smile. These aren't even all the pictures I have. I even have a paperweight with his picture on it. And yes, I have a slight frog obsession.

This is the background on my computer. I love it!! It's hard to see because they're so white, but he is laying on my legs. We had so much fun at this tot pool on Saturday. He loves to splash now!

And a few more pictures because they make me smile:

Showing off his muscles while playing in the jumperoo. 


Playing with the new "instruments" I got him. He loves to shake and bang them together!




Sitting up in the pack n' play for the first time like a big boy


Jack is sitting up well enough now (and I'm more confident that he won't fall) that I can leave him sitting by himself. I can't believe how big he is getting! I just read an interesting article that says some babies never crawl and go straight from sitting to standing to walking. It's apparently perfectly normal. As long as they are able to get around, the method doesn't really matter. Right now Jack rolls all over the place and seems perfectly content with his ways of moving around. We'll just have to wait and see what he decides to do next. 

Have a great rest of the week! I'm counting down the days until Friday and in the meantime, I've got lots of pictures keeping me smiling during the day. 

3 comments:

Sarah said...

I love the picture of Jack in the pool! He's adorable :)

I'm able to stay home with my Jack for the time being, but when my daughter was little, I had to work and I know how hard it can be to leave. Jack is a very lucky baby to have such a loving mama!


Oh...and the witty title thing..I have trouble with that too. More trouble than actually writing the blog post, actually!

aleelavine said...

It does suck to leave them during the day.... I feel your pain there. And I have Bennett all over at my cube too. It's only natural to want to surround yourself with such cuteness!!!! :) I wish there was a splash pool near us.. I should maybe look that up. :) Little B hasn't experienced much water besides the bath. :)
Have a good rest of the week !!! We're more than halfway through!

Living in Gear said...

I feel your pain! I found it harder when I knew he started noticing I was leaving and would sometimes cry. His dad told me he was just fine after I left, but I wasn't and it ate at me all day! And really, he keeps getting cuter and cuter so how could you not want to look at pics of him all day!