Jack's Lovey

When Jack was 1 day old, it was actually Christmas Eve night, he didn't want to do anything except nurse and sleep. More like he wanted to sleep while nursing. He'd fall asleep and I'd carefully lay him in the bassinet next to me, only to have him wake up and cry. I tried this a few times and the only thing that stopped the crying was me nursing him.

I remember asking the nurse if she had any suggestions. Of course she offered to take him to the nursery but I wasn't having any of that! She brought in a pacifier and I was very reluctant because I didn't want him to get nipple confusion. I was dead set on breast feeding him, especially now that I knew we could. But I gave in and let her give it to him. The result? More crying! He wanted nothing to do with it. So I ended our 2 day hospital stay with me only getting 1-2 hours of sleep. No biggie.

Jack turned out to be a wonderful baby. He never cried unless he was really hungry and I usually fed him before he got to that point. My only issue was sleep. I breastfed him for the first year and continued to nurse him to sleep until he was 16 months old. After he fell asleep I would lay him in his crib where he slept all night. But I never taught him to fall asleep on his own. Attempts to let him cry himself to sleep when he was 10 months old, 13 months old, 2 years old, etc. all failed. Maybe I could've tried harder, but knowing your child is upset and has been crying for a half hour and won't stop...it's hard not to step in. He's strong-willed and I knew he would've kept crying for an hour or more. I just couldn't do that to him. Or myself.

When he was 1 month old I tried the pacifier again, hoping it would help him sleep better. It didn't. Jack had both a frog and a monkey lovey that I tried giving him and he didn't have any interest. I even slept with one for a few nights so it would smell like me but it didn't work. He never got attached to anything like most kids do. Except to me. 

The first night that I put him to sleep without nursing him, I laid with him in my bed. I wasn't going to stop nursing him and leave him to fall asleep on his own right away. I figured it would be a gradual process. After he fell asleep I put him in his crib just as I had always done. That started a routine of me laying with him until he fell asleep. Some nights I would fall asleep too and I'd leave him in my bed. I did try (again, maybe not hard enough) to let him fall asleep on his own, but by this time he could call out for me and it just broke my heart. I did stay strong and left him alone but like I said, he's strong-willed and will scream for an hour if I let him.

He always grabbed my shirt or bra strap when I nursed him. I had this one sleep bra that I loved and continued to wear. One night when I was laying with him, he was pulling at the bra (which he often did) and I got annoyed and took it off and gave it to him. I was tired of being tugged on and I really wanted him to fall asleep! This was early on when he was still 1, but I don't remember exactly when.

Welcome Jack's new lovey. Yep...my bra. To this day, he needs his bra to fall asleep. That sounds so funny to say (or type).

He still sleeps in my bed most nights (clutching his bra, of course) and for now I really don't mind. He has fallen asleep on his own and in his bed a few times recently and I'm encouraging him to continue doing so. We're planning to move at some point this year and that's when I'll really work on it. He'll get a big boy bed (as opposed to his converted crib) and cool new bedding and I think that will help. 

Another attachment Jack developed unexpectedly is to a stuffed animal. December 2011 a client came to my office with 2 big bags filled with stuffed animals. We were told to take what we wanted. I took some small Alvin & the Chipmunk characters because they're so cute. There was 1 big Brittany (the main Chipette) that I grabbed thinking I'd give it to one of Jack's friends. Before I got the chance to put them away Jack saw Brittany and immediately wanted it. One year later he still loves that thing and likes to sleep with her. He called her Brintey for the longest time and it was so adorable. The same client came in last month and again we were told we could take what we wanted from 2 huge bags. This time he had a large Alvin that I snatched up as well as small versions of both Brittany and Alvin. I'm saving the small ones for Jack's Easter basket but gave him Alvin that night. He loves them! He gave me Brittany and kept Alvin so they could talk to each other. He said, "hug time!" and made the 2 hug each other. They're best friends. :) It's too cute! And I'm happy he has something other than a bra that he can take out of the bedroom if he needs some extra comfort. He knows his bra is only for sleeping and only at home (he has a stuffed Tigger he sleeps with at daycare). And FYI: We love the Alvin & the Chipmunks movies. Jack got "Chipwrecked" for Christmas and we enjoy watching it. They do say the word idiot a lot in the first one but other than that they're really cute.

The main point of this post was to reveal Jack's lovey and his cute attachment to "Brintey". I tend to keep the details of our day-to-day lives to myself mostly because I don't think anyone would care about them. And also because I don't want to be judged for the decisions I've made. Parenting is hard, as most of you know, and I do what I have to to keep sane! Jack is safe, healthy, happy, loved to the max and he's an all-around good kid, so I must be doing something right.

But I don't want to forget (not that I could!) Jack's attachment to what has become his bra. I'm sure he'll be mortified that at one time he cried out for, "Bra!" Haha!

Don't they look so sweet when they're sleeping?